Fade The Dullness. (Short story)

His voice was soft and weak sounding. Giving Common responses to my common questions. I tried to come up with something in-depth to talk about, but his emotional state was affecting my mindset. I didn’t want to just jump straight into the issue. However, the dullness in his eyes was one that I’ve recognized before. In-between his words he was asking for help.

Detached from the problem usually left you detached from the world. A natural defense for the heart to erect walls and keep everything and everyone out so it doesn’t completely crumble to dust. He sipped his water, I wondered if he was even thirsty or it was just something he knew he should be doing. An auto-response to help deal with the awkward silences that popped up between us. I had to badger him all day to meet me for a late dinner out.

Now he picks at his food and mindlessly sips his water.

“When was the last time you ate?” I asked staring at him. His eyes are down at his plate, his eyebrows scrunch together as if he had to really think about it.

“Not long ago,” He replied.

“Yesterday?” I asked knowing that to be closer to the truth.

“Yea, maybe,” He sighed wiping his face with his hand as if trying to wipe the evident exhaustion off.

“You still look like shit,” I smirked which made him grin slightly.

“I just wish it would stop.”

“It will, it takes time,” I tried to sound upbeat.

“It’s been months…” He responded with a mixture of sounding disgusted and distraught.

“Yea, but look how long you two were together, something of this magnitude takes a while.”

He took his fork and moved the around the peas on his plate, trying to come up with words to say, trying to put words to the pain.

“There are days…where the only peace I find is in the 3 or so seconds after waking up…before I remember that she’s gone.” He said as if ashamed of the fact.

I knew he needed to vent. I wasn’t entirely sure if he had anyone to really talk to about this. His parents had already passed. I’m not sure if he even talked to his brother anymore after their falling out. I tried to remember why it had happen. Something about his brother not going to the funeral? Not exactly Sure. I figured the last thing he wanted to do was talk to HER parents about it. I imagined it would cause more pain and grief than anything else.

Derrick took another bite of his sandwich. My words seemed inadequate for the type of pain he was letting out. My reassurances sounded forced and not authentic at all. I wanted to do more or say something epic to break the walls down for him to be himself again and not this shell of a man sitting across from me.

“Yea, but there will be a day when you will be stronger than you were before. I don’t like saying, ‘Everything happens for a reason,’ in cases like these, but you got to take what good you can salvage and push forward. All your memories should never be outlined in sorrow, keep them filled with joy, the way they are meant to be. Would she want you to be so drained of life with her absence? You have to live, man.”

“Live for what?” He croaked, looking up at me with tears outlining his eyes.

“Live for you, for her! Continue on to do great things, whatever they may be. To change peoples’ lives for the better. You nor I will ever know how much we affect others, but we do. Through all my crappy situations, I’ve realized they’ve strengthened and lead me to good times with new friends. My attitude directly affects those around me. Why would I ever want to bring others down when I could always assist in lifting them up by merely staying positive? And also, Liz would want you to be happy…with or without her. That’s what truly loving someone is like.”

I could tell he was weighing my words. It’s always hard to let go of something you love with all your heart. I can only imagine the empty void in his chest when he wants to go and call her or send a text. To see her laughing or smile one more time. The only way he’ll ever hear her voice again is through old voice messages or videos.

“Yea..Just gonna take some time,” He finally said softly.

“Yea, well, you got me here to help. Just need to get out more.” I smirked.

He nodded.

I hoped my words made some sort of impact. Perhaps maybe laid a seed to sprout, so to speak. The only thing I could try to associate this whole thing with is a type of rehab. To be with someone for years and to grow with them only to have them abruptly taken away will need assistance in going on without them. Re-learning how to be alone. To be completely independent. I know having friends there isn’t the same as having that one person you have a connection with on a deeper level. But it can ease the pain, at least, I hope it does. This I must believe, so I can help. It kills me to see my closest friends hurt so much.

“We should get up with Adam and Robert this weekend and go on a road trip. I heard there’s a place to go zip-lining near Wake Forest. Cabins there we could stay at.”

“I dunno, maybe.”

“How about yes, I’ll get a hold of them tomorrow. Adventures man, let’s have some adventures again! Maybe we’ll find a dragon to slay.” I winked.

He chuckled, “Sure sure”

“Good.”

We slowly started to chat at longer lengths and joked of old times, all the while the dullness fading slowly in his eyes.

I know Depression can feel like an everlasting condition,

but having those Who Care trying to intervene,

Will make it fade faster.

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Last Night (Flash Fiction)

It was the last night with her. Far past midnight. I was driving. I was always the driver. However, it was something I never complained about since it meant we were all together. My eyes were on the road but my mind stayed in the back seat where she was. The windows were down and the evening air felt nice. She kept her head out the window enjoying the rush of air. I wondered what she was thinking of. Was it me? Was it of us? Chances were it wasn’t, but I’ll never know for sure.

We crossed on to the bridge that stretched over the river. No other cars were out. For some time, it felt like we were the only souls out at that late hour. Lonely Night Owls. The water below appeared black, slowly moving as if it were some living abyss waiting to swallow anything that fell to it. The city we were driving to was lit up like a beacon of hope. As though we were driving through hell and almost out. The only real hell, for me, was knowing I was leaving tomorrow.

The radio was going, but I didn’t really hear it. I just felt the wind on my face and arms, smelled the night air which hinted of passing rain, and saw the light among the darkness. I didn’t want to forget that moment, because it’d be one of the last ones I’d have with her. Driving with such an overall beautiful woman in my car. She was a new, albeit brief, chapter in my life. A rare and unique type of woman that you’d never forget once you met. One that warmed the soul once you made that connection.

I didn’t want to leave her…

Writing Exercise #3!

Hello again!Image

I’m back from Arizona and getting into the swing of things again. Here’s another Writing exercise for everyone to check out and participate in if they’d like. I’ll be posting an exert from my Horror story soon. Once it’s finished I’ll be sending it to a Short Story Contest which is the reason why I won’t be able to post the full story on here.

Here’s this weeks Writing Exercise:

“Everything would be right”

My cell rang again, but I didn’t answer it. I just smiled and set it to vibrate. I knew it was driving him crazy not knowing what I was doing, not knowing where I was, and with who.
I glanced over at Jake as he drove down the dirt road. He seemed like the opposite of him, simply care free and wild. Maybe that’s what I needed now. Maybe that’s what my heart needed to be.

“How much farther?!” I yelled so he could hear me over the wind since he had taken the top off his Jeep.

“Not much farther Darlin’, just hold on to your pretty self!” He said with wink.

He was very handsome with short brown hair and a defined jawline with stubble.

I couldn’t help but to grin. Everything felt right. My hair was blowing in almost every direction. The sun was out with only minimal clouds to get in the way. I closed my eyes and took it all in. There were no arguments, no fighting, no stressing out, and no tears. Everything was right.

The cell vibrated again as we came to the river. I jumped out of the Jeep leaving my phone behind. The river looked amazing. It sparkled from the reflection of light from the Sun. I could see all the way to the bottom as if it was untouched by mankind. A hidden gift from some water god like Poseysidden or whatever his name was.

“Yea, not many people come down this way so the river stays pretty clear.” Jake said as if reading my thoughts.

“How about a dip?” He said taking off his shirt and boots almost at the same time.

I took my dress off which hid my two-piece swim suit and we swam for hours. I couldn’t remember the last time I had so much fun. Maybe when I was a teeny-bopper? It wasn’t anytime recently.
After the swim we dried off by laying in the sun and talking about college goals and dreams of what we’d do afterwards.

We dressed and walked around near the river. There were only a few trees near by; it was mostly grass and some sandy parts.

“So, what are you gonna do about the guy calling you non-stop?” Jake asked catching me off guard.

“How do you know it’s a guy and not just my parents?” I asked slyly avoiding his emerald eyes.

“Ya woulda picked up or called back by now if it was your parents…Nah…I know it’s a guy, probably wishing he hadn’t screwed up so bad to be ignored by such a beautiful woman as yourself.”

Oh, how silver his tongue could be. He had a deadly combination of looks and smarts.

“Ha, well, too bad for him.” I said continuing to walk until I came to a small dead tree.

“Bad for him, Maybe good for me?” Jake said raising an eyebrow my way.

“Maybe..” I responded as I grabbed the tree and leaned into the wind. I smiled at him as I saw a slow smile of his own overcome his rough face.

Everything would be right.

Writing Exercise #2

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*Note: Another writing exercise! If anyone want’s to try then please feel free to comment with your story for the picture.*

I sat down wishing the pain would go away. It wasn’t the first time that he’s hit me like that. They were usually directed towards my belly which wouldn’t show any bruises. I just wish my mother was here to see it. She never is. He makes her believe I say he hits me because I hate him for not being my real father.

My nose is starting to run from the tears that I’ve been trying to fight back for few minutes now. I don’t know why he doesn’t love me anymore. He used to, before he married my mother.

I’ll stay out here for a while and hope he falls asleep on the couch again. Maybe I’ll be able to sneak back in and lock the door to my room. Mommy will be home in an hour; I hate how she can only find the third shift jobs.
I can feel people staring at me briefly as they go on their way to work. I wish they could help. I wish I could tell them to help me. I don’t have any bruises though. I only have my words and tears.

Another ten or so minutes I’ll sneak back in. It’s so chilly out, I hate how much I shiver. My mother’s hot chocolate would be so good right now. I hope she makes me some when she gets home. I’m going to miss it so much. I’ll miss her too. I know she’ll cry when she finds me gone tomorrow. It hurts my heart to think about.